Update:AIT

So...I've been living at Ft. Meade, Maryland since Feb 22nd of this year and until last week I've been just hanging out here on AFI (awaiting further instruction) but, last week, on Wednesday, I FINALLY started some classes :) now only 7 more months or so to go before I'm finally out of soldier training and become a REAL real soldier :P How many soldiers can say that they've been in the Army for a year before they even complete there training? ha...that just gives you a little bit of a taste on how tough my job actually is. So, we've started class, and since I'm the highest ranking student, I was elected class leader. Me. Yeah, its pretty cool and kind of stressful at the same time, but all in all I'm pretty sure that this is what I wanted. I need to start getting leadership roles so that I can be recommended for Officier Candidate School fairly quickly. I'm pretty sure that I want to be an officier still...of course, it all depends on how stellar this job actually turns out to be.

Other than that, I've finally made it to phase 5, so I'm allowed to wear civilian clothes again, allowed to go off base on the weekends, you know...I have limited freedom again. Still not allowed to have my car back and whatnot, but hopefully by mid may, I'll be able to make phase 5+ and be allowed to take weekend trips and have my car and whatnot. I don't really know how thats going to go yet :P I've never had weekends completely free before with some extra spending money to actually do something! We'll see how it goes :P Other than that, there really isn't too much left to talk about of interest. It's all kind of just a matter of time before something happens again. Class, Studying, and PT make up my days for the most part right now. I've been watching movies and playing soccer in addition to that, but the Army keeps most of my hours full. Hope everyone is doing well and hopefully everyone had a good easter weekend? Mine was kind of non-existance as I am still having trouble finding my way to a church other than the one on base. Hopefully in a few weeks I'll have the whole traveling without a car thing down? Give me some time, I've never NOT had a car before :X

appreciate

So yesterday was my first day to be allowed off base without the exception of my special pass for when my family came to visit. Some friends I've made here and I decided to go to the mall for a little while before we had to be back for early bed check because of our training this morning. But we were at a store and my friend was trying on a hat. She came and asked me what I thought and I told her that it looked pretty good. She then told me that was one of the first compliments I've given her. I've known her since I've gotten here a month or so ago and I haven't complimented her till now?! Wow, you have no idea how much of a jerk I felt I was. She's one of those people who between us we pick on each other...kind of like a brother/sister relationship and so this is why its never crossed my mind before. I don't know, but I need to change this. I can't have that being the only nice thing I've said to her. People need to know they are appreciated and loved. How will they ever know if they're friends don't tell them? How can I show them Jesus if I'm not showing his character?

poison

Philippians 4:8-9
"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."

Ever since I've gotten here I've let the latter of these things in the verse to poison my thoughts. Every day...since prolly I failed my first PT test, all I've been dwelling on has been the bad in this place. All types of things have been getting on my nerves that usually don't bother me too much to affect my mood. I got a letter from my friend Alisa today that had this verse...well...not this exact verse, but 6 and 7 instead...I just cheated and read further :X and it really made me start thinking about this.

I'm not going to deny...there are a lot of things bringing me down in this place...I think the biggest reason for that is because there is a lot of downtime. I HATE downtime...it makes me do bad things, and the worst part about the things bringing me down here is that with the group of people I'm with, there is absolutely no problem finding someone who agrees with you. You know that saying how sour people hang out in packs? (or something like that) well its true...I've been doing it :P and its come to my attention that I need to cease. This place is a necessary stop on my adventure and I need to treat it as such no matter what I'm doing (or not doing) and not get bent out of shape when others don't seem to take on the same attitude. Reason, Purpose, and Self-Esteem...that is what my favorite book, Atlas Shrugged, says are the highest values a man can hold. My attitude needs to stay at the level that I have set and not sink down to be at the same standard as others around me. God has already saved me from that lifestyle. And has taught me how to live at the higher standard. The standard that allows me to be poured out as a drink offering. The same standard Paul lived by making him able to live the way he did for Christ and still have Joy.

I've forgotten my quest to hit bottom.