untitled

For the first time, I truly miss the familiar.
To fear my prime has finally reached its peak.
Is there any left?
have my strengths forsaken me?
I Shall horde the remnants to bear the cold of a long winter's storm.
Storing up, stacking high all my hopes to rough the impossible feat ahead of me.
As a beaver makes his damn, so do I prepare my chamber.
And there I rest, unaware of the first sign of Spring.

others escape.

And I swear I'll know your face in the crowd
And I'll hear your voice so loud
When you're whispering

Hey unfaithful I will teach you
To be stronger, to be stronger
Hey ungraceful I will teach you
To forgive one another.

destroy & rebuild

There is something really exciting about starting something new. Almost like a drug I think that I'm addicted to. Just like a new version of software fixing all the bugs from the previous version is the feeling of starting over, breaking down what you built to move what you've learned to somewhere else and start again. Meeting new people, living different places but more wise than you were before. Learning from your mistakes, refining your personality, becoming the man that you and God can agree on. Seeing how other places do church. Community. There is just something really exciting about starting something new. And I can't wait for this opportunity I have to witness it again in Miami. Thank you to everyone I've met in my life up to this point. No matter how we know each other, I guarantee you've touched my life in some way and I know that I've learned something from it. I appreciate that. Miami, I'll see you Sunday!

Sorry

I'm sorry I don't really Post anything nowadays, but I just don't feel like I should at this time in my life...It just doesn't feel right :/

Swing

I think I'm a little bit more moody than I give myself credit for...

Lovesick

To be so far gone from what I used to know everyday
forgotten, really, how to even perform correctly.
How do I get something like that back?
Love.
The more I try to feel it, the further I am from such an emotion.
I've forgotten how to love.
Because love isn't something I get is it? It's something I give first.
And how can I love when I feel empty?

To move forward.
Even though I long for the past.
Is he tired of my laments?
I can't seem to put my savior first anymore.
So how much is too much?
How much patience do you REALLY have?
Because I know I'm not finished yet.
How do I get something like that back?
Love.
And how can I love when I feel so empty?

What is my diagnosis?

Update:AIT

So...I've been living at Ft. Meade, Maryland since Feb 22nd of this year and until last week I've been just hanging out here on AFI (awaiting further instruction) but, last week, on Wednesday, I FINALLY started some classes :) now only 7 more months or so to go before I'm finally out of soldier training and become a REAL real soldier :P How many soldiers can say that they've been in the Army for a year before they even complete there training? ha...that just gives you a little bit of a taste on how tough my job actually is. So, we've started class, and since I'm the highest ranking student, I was elected class leader. Me. Yeah, its pretty cool and kind of stressful at the same time, but all in all I'm pretty sure that this is what I wanted. I need to start getting leadership roles so that I can be recommended for Officier Candidate School fairly quickly. I'm pretty sure that I want to be an officier still...of course, it all depends on how stellar this job actually turns out to be.

Other than that, I've finally made it to phase 5, so I'm allowed to wear civilian clothes again, allowed to go off base on the weekends, you know...I have limited freedom again. Still not allowed to have my car back and whatnot, but hopefully by mid may, I'll be able to make phase 5+ and be allowed to take weekend trips and have my car and whatnot. I don't really know how thats going to go yet :P I've never had weekends completely free before with some extra spending money to actually do something! We'll see how it goes :P Other than that, there really isn't too much left to talk about of interest. It's all kind of just a matter of time before something happens again. Class, Studying, and PT make up my days for the most part right now. I've been watching movies and playing soccer in addition to that, but the Army keeps most of my hours full. Hope everyone is doing well and hopefully everyone had a good easter weekend? Mine was kind of non-existance as I am still having trouble finding my way to a church other than the one on base. Hopefully in a few weeks I'll have the whole traveling without a car thing down? Give me some time, I've never NOT had a car before :X