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You guys have no idea how many times I've wrote in this thing, then, deleted it.

unforced rhythms

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." -Jesus (message translation)

I want to learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I want to learn to live freely and lightly. I want to have a beautiful death.

Why do I constantly betray myself? Why do I meekly snuff out my own flame? To relate? To have a place in this broken world? How grotesque and mutilated am I? I'm tired and burned out on all the advice of self help books and bible college graduates and preachers. I need something different. I need you to show me MY way. I know I'm not a special case Father but man could you help me not feel like one? I can't relate anymore. Blinded by my own imperfectness, I can't seem to make out the bigger picture even though I know all my problems are so little. Help me. I feel so distant and I know I'm the one who's moved.

we will never presume again

People change. I am not the exception.

untitled

For the first time, I truly miss the familiar.
To fear my prime has finally reached its peak.
Is there any left?
have my strengths forsaken me?
I Shall horde the remnants to bear the cold of a long winter's storm.
Storing up, stacking high all my hopes to rough the impossible feat ahead of me.
As a beaver makes his damn, so do I prepare my chamber.
And there I rest, unaware of the first sign of Spring.

others escape.

And I swear I'll know your face in the crowd
And I'll hear your voice so loud
When you're whispering

Hey unfaithful I will teach you
To be stronger, to be stronger
Hey ungraceful I will teach you
To forgive one another.

destroy & rebuild

There is something really exciting about starting something new. Almost like a drug I think that I'm addicted to. Just like a new version of software fixing all the bugs from the previous version is the feeling of starting over, breaking down what you built to move what you've learned to somewhere else and start again. Meeting new people, living different places but more wise than you were before. Learning from your mistakes, refining your personality, becoming the man that you and God can agree on. Seeing how other places do church. Community. There is just something really exciting about starting something new. And I can't wait for this opportunity I have to witness it again in Miami. Thank you to everyone I've met in my life up to this point. No matter how we know each other, I guarantee you've touched my life in some way and I know that I've learned something from it. I appreciate that. Miami, I'll see you Sunday!

Sorry

I'm sorry I don't really Post anything nowadays, but I just don't feel like I should at this time in my life...It just doesn't feel right :/