21.12.08

pause

disappearing for a month and then reappearing is kind of weird. Its like everything is on pause for you, but nothing changes for everyone else. It's been kind of disappointing to tell you the truth. Its ok though...real friends are found in such ways. I'm not looking forward to doing this again in February. One thing has been awesome with this though. My family. Want to appreciate your family more? Join the Army and go to basic training. I don't even want to think about what it would be like to be deployed and THEN come back. Anyways, there's not much to write about...all my thoughts are private tonight.

Don't fool yourself. There are some things that only work in stories.

18.12.08

Not Your Own

11 DEC 2008

We've been having some more fun here at Basic Training. Two days ago we went for our first Army camping experience. We walked.....well....road marched, meaning we had about 50lbs of gear strapped to our backs and we walked at a pretty fast pace for about 6 miles everyone was saying. It was a beautiful day for camping. Nice Southern fall weather with the sun partly shining, partly cloudy, and we got there and set up camp. Wait. Let me back up. So before all that, we had a day of P.T. meaning physical training (I think) and they split us all up into groups according to how well we did the 2 mile run. Since I did it in 16:50 , I was put into the A train. We had A train, B train, and C train, A was the one where all the people from 17:00 min and under. B was from 1700 to whatever C was all the others :x We ran probably a total of 4 or 5 miles. I of which was running up and down bleachers and half a mile backwards up a hill!

The next day we had to get up really early and road march over to the bayonette course where we had to do a bunch of obsticles with our bayonette and do a bunch of moves on dummies, haha it was fun! Anyays, before I talk about the camping I need to talk about my battle buddy, Ian Tracey. He was assigned to me because he's the next one before my name in alphabetical order, but he couldn't have been any better to be my battle buddy. He is smart, very friendlym Christian, and I guess and all around good guy :P We kicked it off pretty well from the beginning. So anways, back to the camping. Tracey and I out our tent up and everything and it was the best looking tent up there :P It doesn't hurt that he's an eagle scout as well. Haha. We camped out and then the next day we went to an endurance course called fit to win where we had to go through this whole endurance course with our savad. We didn't win but we got 2nd I'm pretty sure. After, we went to the gas chamber!! I was pretty worried about this. I to it and we out our gas masks on and walked in to the chamber. The drill seargaents then had us lift up our gas masks and say our full social security number followed by drill seargent! I was able to do it and then seal my mask again without it being too bad. and so I am just chilling in there untill h egets to everyone else in there. One didn't do it too well and started freaking out and tried to oush the drill seargent away. He slammed the kid against the wall and put his mask back on him for him. It was crazy! He had to go back in there again because of it too after he regained himself. But when we were about to go out the D.S took us 10 at a time to go out and before we could go, they had us take our mask completely off and sing Jingle Bells! So I got up there , I'm getting nervous because we had a little taste of the gas outside the chamber while we were putting on our masks. Then I get the signal to take my mask off. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, rip it off. I start to sing "Jingle bells, Jingle bells, jingle all the way.." The drill seargent start to try and take our masks from us, I hold tight. "oh what fun." they start to mess with me more, poking my stomach, messing with my face, "it is to ride in a one ," the next D.S starts to punch me in the gut! "horse open sliegh!" I survived!! Luckily , I had my stomach clenched. They start to push us out the door and I get out into the ligh and take a deep breath! Crap..... the gas is still pretty strong :x The gas feels what nose, in your eyes, it burns your throat, burns your skin, burns your eyes. Really burns your eyes! Man! They have us walk a few laps around a turn around road to air out and compose ourselves. Wow that was intense! haha! I'm glad I got to do it through :) I've never worn a gas mask before yet alone be gassed like that! It was crazy!

Anyways I have a few other things I want to talk about. The first one being how platoon team life is going. Our platoon is having some problems. haha...to say the least. Ive been trying to figure our what the problem is exactly and some things I could come up with were these : 1.) Our platoon is trying way too hard to maintain our own individuality. The sooner we realize that we are not who we were the better. The Army took away our clothes, our hair, our make-u, electronics, stereotypes. and gave us the same uniform, the same kind of hair, the same food, the same beds, and the same quality of life. They did this for a reason. "You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake". I think old habits need to die and new ones need to form. This would help us get along I believe. 2.) Ego. Nobody is able to yet humble enough to listen to someone when they are trying to correct the, before the drill seargents talk to them. Now a lot of it is in the way people try to tell people they're wrong, but you know... they both could use improvement.

Those are the two big problems I've noticed There are a few smaller ones as well but I think they would be resolved with there two. The reason I'm kind of writing about this is because right now, my platoon has been sitting here for the past two hours while I've been writing this discussing our issues and how we need to do this and that and blah blah blah... I feel the best way to deal with this personally is to just listen, don't talk, let them work their own problems out unless otherwise asked. Because our platoon doesn't really like taking advice :p It gets to my battle buddy sometimes, but I have just been able to laugh about it. I remember back when I was like that and felt like I had to take charge and solve their problems. Now I feel like it takes more dicipline to hold my tounge.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about a devotion I read yesterday from my utmost for his highest. It's December 9th and 10th and they are "the offense of the natural" and "the offering of the natural." I'm still trying to completely grasp these, but what I kind of related it to was you guessed it, the Army. The devotion talk about how, as christians, it's not really about giving up of what makes your natural self. All the sin in my life is part of what makes you your natural self. All the sin in my life is part of the way I live for myself. We miust deny this. It's like when I signed the Army Contract and took my second oath. I'm government property. I chase this. Now, there are many good things that come from me joining the Army. They're paying my student loans, paying me a bonus, paying me to work, feeding me blah blah blah..... but there are also things I have to do. Starting here at Basic, I have to start disciplining my body, mind, even spirit to fit to the Army standards and so forth. Becoming a Christian is great and comes with more than enough benefits but there comes the time in our Christian life when we need to start discipling our body, mind and soul. We can't just keep relying on how loving and merciful God is. There comes a time when God knows that we know better. I know I've reached that point. I couldn't do it by myself. Hopefully joining the Army will teach me what being disciplined actually looks like.

From a young age growing up in church we're told we're in the Lords Army. I think I disagree with that. Untill now I don't feel like I was even ready to even make the attempt for what kind of discipline and commitment.. It's definitly something to strive for, but belive me. There is some responsibility that comes with it. Jesus was the ultimate example for this discipline and responsibility. I wonder what type of person Jesuss natural desires would have made him? Thank God we never found out.

I have a feeling that the Army is going to be a very good thing for my adult life. I've never known this stuff before or had to be so precise with the things I do. Some things suck more than others, but it's good. God is with me :)

-M

Confidence

01 DEC 2008

So today we did unarmed combatives which is pretty much wrestling moves. It was the most fun yet! We learned a bunch of different dominate positions to get the upper hand on opponents as as some choke holds and arm bars. I went a few matches with some people, but I lost each time..... 0-3 I'm afraid :( BUT hopefully we get to do it more often so that I can get some practice! One of the guys messed up my head pretty bad. I have some cuts on my forehead and on the side of my head and so on, but I am ok :P That's probably the closest to fight club I'm going to get. All in all, so far I love it here. I don't have any guilt; When I would sleep in late like when I lived in ATL because there is too much accountability in the army to let things slide. That accountability thing goes for A LOT more things as well. That is just an example for you guys but everything in the Army is based on accountability. I would recommend the military to anyone wanting to make change in their life. Aleast so far. We'll see if I still feel this way in the next six years.

Well, the top paragraph was written in the 1st at the beginning of last week and not it's the 7th on Sunday night. I haven't been writing very much because I lost my stamps :( But I 've recieved some letters from you guys and that makes me happy :) Because one, I know you all finally got my address, and two, you guys actually took the time to write me! Hopefully I'll be able to get some at the PX soon or borrow a few from some friends :x Anways, other things that happened this week was we went to the confidence courae which is a hige area of different height challenges I guess you would call them? The first one we did was this 5 story tower that me and 3 other people on my team of 4 had to climb up and then climb back down. Not only did we have to do that, but we also had to do it without any harness! If any of us fell, we we're pretty much screwed. It was like that for all of them. Luckly we managed to do it, and my team did it with some ease actually. The next challenge we had was the Victory slide. We climbed up a cargo net and had to walk over a log in the middle of the air to an overgrown ladder and then climbed up higher to a cable where we were hooked up and then zip lined down to the ground. The 3rd one we did was the inclined rope decend and we had to climb up and then zip lined down to the ground.The 3rd one we did ws the inclined rope decend and we had to climb up an oversized ladder again and there was a rope that was up an oversized ladder again and there was a rope that was up at the top. It stretched probably a good 20' downwards at probably a 30 or 45 degree angle or so and we hung upside down on it and worked our way down it. That one was the handout for me, but I was still able to do it! Those were the only ones we had time to complete because we have quite a few people in our platoon who don't really belong in the Army I don't think :x The next day we had a bayonett training and then the next day we had some team building exercises and then we ran a whole lot on the other day. But I'm running out of room on this page and the running out of time beofre lights out as well so I'll talk about that stuff later. Hope you all are doing well and P.S. Atlanta, I'll be spending New Years with all you guys so make some time to see me! I'll be there the 30th thought the 2nd!!

-M

2.12.08

LDRSHIP

27 Nov 08

Happy Thanksgiving! We're all sitting in our barracks hanging out and just kind of taking the day off I guess? So while I have some free time, I figured I would update everything. This week is the first week of Basic and so far so good. Doing all the push ups and everything kind of stinks, but I'm looking at it this way, I'm getting paid right now to get in shape! :p

A few days ago we went up and did a high ropes course call Victory Tower. At this place. it's probably 35, 40 ft in the air and we climbed it, climbed ropes across it, climbed down it, repelled off it, and a few other things, but it was so much fun! We've went on a road march as well so far. That's how we got to Victory Tower. That will be the first of many, but we were issued our M16's yesterday so now we'll be carrying those with us on the next one because now we have to carry our weapons everywhere we go!

Today some things have happened worth blogging about. The first of which being our Thanksgiving dinner. Today we were served Thanksgiving dinner by all our superiors and officers. It was a really cool sight to see because since I've been here, all I've seen of them has been being proud, angry, can't-do-anything-without-getting-yelled at drill sergeants and then having switched to where they and even the higher ranked officers dipping out our mashed potatoes.; that was humbling. To be so proud of something and get still humble enough to do things like this? Isn't that a whole lot of how being a Christian is supposed to be like? I must admit..the Army has a lot more things figured out about life than what you would first think. Even the 7 Army values relate so well with Christian life. Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless, Honor, Integrity, and personal Courage. I have seen a lot of these these values displayed so for in our Sergants, but today, selfless service was definitly the BIG one :):)

Another thing happened today that stuck in my mind as well. Yesterday we signed a paper saying we would follow all the rules of being in the barracks and stuff, and one of the rules was NO food in the bays. NO EXCEPTIONS! So we get down to the chow hall and the lines of food are decorated with candies and such ok, cool whatever, kind of wierd, but cool Thanksgiving decorations. People start taking some, taking some, next thing I knew I see people starting to stuff it in their pockets. Ok, whatever, lets go fill in formation. So we get back to our company spot in the barracks and the thing the drill sergeants do is have us empty our pockets. Guilty. So many people had candy he had us emptying everything on the ground. After we were done getting punished for doing it, he said something I remembered.. "I'm glad you guys showed me this. Now I know you guys can't be trusted." Integrity. That is one of the 7 Army values and we failed today. :( Hopefully we've learned our lesson.