vagabond

Is it ok that I have no idea where I belong? Is it ok that I'm a little bit of a thrill seeker so to speak? It really was killing me that I was working at a freaking restaurant, stuck here in Atlanta because I'm too poor to even live where I'm stuck at yet alone rich enough to actually do something exciting or whatever. Maybe this is another reason why joining the Army makes so much sense for me right now. I always seem to have to move to change anything about me. I feel like I've become and experienced everything I need to in Atlanta for now. I don't want to get stuck in a rut. I want to have constant growth. For some reason moving is the only way I feel that so far. I did it in middle school. I did it in high school. I did it in college. I did it again after college. Now I'm doing it again. Every move I've learned something new about myself and have learned how to be more like a person I actually aprove of when I look him in the eyes of the mirror. That can't be all bad can it? I do leave A LOT of friends behind, and I do HATE not getting to be with them and spend time with them. But I don't know. I'm starting to think that this is just part of who "me" is. And if this is just a part of me...then wouldn't that mean that not doing it would make me less of who "I" am? Do you think that I could possibly wear out my welcome with friends if I were to stay put for a longer period of time?

?

I can't really think of anything to talk about? I think its because I haven't really had time to read in a while? But yeah...I'm clueless? I felt bad because I haven't wrote in this thing in two days but yeah :/ nothing. Maybe I'll write something later.

detox

On my mind right now,

To all my friends that might kind of feel WAY out of the loop with the things happening in my life right now:

Sorry I haven't really told everyone exactly what is happening, but that is kind of what this blog is for...so that I can tell many people something all at one time.

I know it doesn't seem as personal, but I just don't have the time to be calling each and every one of you guys and give you the whole shpeal. That would be a part time job in itself :P and I have been trying my hardest just to get this whole thing set up for me and to get my family in the loop and in agreement with me.

Don't think for a second that this is easy for me or that this is GOING to be easy for me. I can't even imagine right now what it's going to be like not to even have a cell phone with me at all times yet alone not be able to just hop online and keep in touch with everyone...and that doesn't even BEGIN to touch me having to actually go through basic training! :P I'm really excited about it and I'm going to be one buff dude when I get out, but while I'm going through it, its going to be hell. It is definitely going to be somewhat of a detox for me...or a purification if you will. This is what I'm hoping for anyways. I feel like there is just so much crap still weighing me down from my early years and my early way of thinking that I just can't seem to grasp everything I've learned in college and in Orlando. I haven't been able to learn anything more in Atlanta either. I've just felt so stagnant here. Not going to lie.

I definitely feel that God has used me here, don't get me wrong, but I just don't feel right here. And I don't think that you should still feel that way about someplace where you've lived for THAT long. It's time to move on.

2 Samuel 22:35

"He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze."

change is coming.

I was at the MEPS station today for my ASVAB test and my physical. What all this means is that I got tested to see if I was eligible to join the Army.

I passed with some flying colors. :)

I received the position I was hoping for as well as all the benefits I was told I would get and I would have to say I'm pretty excited...and nervous at the same time. This is going to be a BIG change in my life. You guys have no idea the kind of change I'm talking here. Big. I am in need of this too. There are so many things I will be able to learn from this experience as well as just have the opportunity to experience things in general as someone such as a soldier. At the same time though, I am way nervous of these same things. I am scared to death of how far from my comfort zone I will be. This is all unknown. Crazy huh? So how do I know if this is from God or not? I honestly couldn't tell you one specific time where I just KNEW this was right, but I think that it has just been a much too bazaar turn of events to not be of something God wants in my life right now...right now anyways. I still have until I leave for Basic to FULLY decide on my position in the Army, but still. I don't know...I'm so tired so if this doesn't quite make sense, I don't even feel like rereading over this.

I leave for basic training on November 18th and I'll prolly be going home a week or two earlier to spend some time with my fam before I leave for good. Pray for me still as I still try to make sure this is the correct thing in my life right now. Ask me if you have any questions...I'll try to answer them to the best of my knowlege

excited and nervous

These are two emotions I think should be in life often. If they are not, I would challenge you to rethink some things. Life is not static, nor should we strive to make it so. We should always be willing to put ourselves up for new challenges and new ideas, always trying to learn from our own experiences with ourselves and others. Do something brash. Do something to prove to yourself you are a man. God will praise you because he gives good gifts. Do something other than sing church songs to worship God. Boast in your strengths in your character to show God your thankfulness. Don't be so quick to point out your weaknesses, for this is how God boasts in his strengths to show his character.

Be proud that you are a beautiful child of God. Because God is proud of you.

Iron

I think I'm discovering a pattern here. It seems the more I try to fix my problems, the more problems I start to have and the more my problems start to swallow me whole. It is only when I include others into my problems that I seem to slowly overcome my problems.

Accountability is a wonderful thing. We can say we need to do this or we need to start doing that, but until we actually find something to basically force us to do it, nothing is going to change. Believe it. We all pretty much suck and we need to start recognizing that we are so lucky that God has blessed us with friends in our lives. That God is willing to BE a friend in our lives.

I would encourage you to start being that friend to someone. The friend who encourages and holds their friends to a higher standard than what they hold themselves. You might just be lucky enough to start getting it back in return. I know that I seem to get it back when I need it the most. Every one of my friends are very dear to me and I wouldn't trade any of the time I've spent with each of you for anything else.

On the opposite side of this though, DO NOT go around pointing out everyone's faults. No one likes a self righteous punk. The way I see it, if your trying to hold your friends to a higher standard, you better be trying your hardest to get them to do it to you as well. Iron sharpens Iron. We have to be the same. We need to both be Iron.

Thanks for helping me to become a better me everyone.

This life is too hard to do it alone. Stop trying.

Middle Children of History

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

-Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

Army Strong?

If you knew me back in high school, you knew as someone who would have slapped you in the face for even mentioning me and military in the same sentence. I had no desire to go to the military, no reason to...no reason whatsoever. Being who I am now, I had no business being in the Army back then as it was. I was very arrogant, self centered, self sufficient, emotionless, and driven. I had my mind made up on what I was doing next after I finally got out of high school.

In college, I learned many things. I learned a career, I learned how to live, I learned how to use my own money to pay for things, I learned how to save that money to make sure I could survive later on into the month, I learned how to be a good room mate, I learned how to know which friends were healthy for me to be around, which ones to steer away from.

I learned how to love.

I learned what a relationship with God looked like, I learned how to lose weight, I learned how to hold myself accountable, I learned how to find friends again, I learned how to get involved at a church, I learned how to put my friends before myself, I learned how to love my friends, I learned how to love my friends in Ohio, learned how to know who my real ones were, learned about my faith and why we as Christians believe what we do, I learned what love means, I learned how to better study my bible, I learned the fascination of Martial Arts, I learned what it felt like to be punched in the face.

I learned how to be in relationship with people the way Jesus was in relationship with people. Not to get them saved, but to show them there is a God who loves them.

I'm telling these things to prove a point. That since what I was in high school as changed drastically, who I was then has also been changing in this past year in Atlanta. Most of you who will probably be reading this blog didn't even know who I was in high school yet alone even know who I was in college. I've made a lot of new friends in some of the stages of my life.

My thoughts about the military really started happening maybe a year ago, maybe a little less than that with movies that I grew up with one of my favorites being Braveheart, and then movies such as 300, Gladiator, whatever, those types of movies being movies where I admire the character of the characters. I want to possess this type of character. This can be easily dismissed though. I then started thinking about the military again when I met a friend of mine who is in the Air Force Reserves down here (or up here depending on where your from) and what he talked about with what he's done, where he's gone, whatever. It's interesting though, because he's not even particularly fond of the military. I just found it interesting. But again, I dismissed it because that is not my career field. I wouldn't have any reason to join the military.

I then met another friend who was in the process of joining the Army as a camera operator. He told me about how the Army has careers in Audio, and that is when I really started thinking about it. This was probably beginning of the summer this year. We talked a lot about things because we spent Monday's at the pool being that Monday was our weekend. Thats when I started doing some research, and kind of secretly checking it out.

I haven't told anyone, not even my family, my interest until this week. I'm kind of embaressed to say that, but I was seriously scared of what everyone would think. I was scared of all the oppinions everyone would have to try and pursuade me to do whatever and when I finally told my Dad I was thinking about the military on Monday this week, he surprisingly didn't react the way I was expecting. Neither did my mom. Or my Aunt...for the most part, or my grandma. OR MY GRANDMA. I don't care when we've become friends, if you know me, you know that my grandma's oppinion matters SO much to me. I love her more than anyone. And she was supportive. Her husband, my grandfather was a veteran in the military and for an army wife to be supportive of her grandson being interested in the same career choice, that has really given me some confidence.

A lot of my close friends have been supportive as well. I have had some people freak out, but nothing to the extend as what I was scared of happening. But, with all this, let me speak of the position I have been offered in the United States Army...

I have been offered the position of Army MOS 25R Visual Information Equipment Operator/Maintainer.

You can search for that on youtube and find a description video speaking briefly on what this positions tasks would be. It looks very beneficial to my career as well as pretty fun to even do as a stable job for most of my 20's. I've been offered to have most of my student loans paid off, I've been offered an impressive sign on bonus, as well as full coverage health insurance, housing expenses, food allowances, and then after all that, they will still pay me to do my job for them. Because I have my bachelors degree, I will be promoted upon enrollment to an E4 which is an Army Specialist. Most start as E1's and I will be starting with two promotions before I'm even done with basic training.

I will get to learn how to get into shape, I will get to learn how to defend myself, how to shoot guns, how to grow up in general. They will completely rid me of my old habits and replace them with discipline and courage. As one of my favorite quotes in Fight Club go, "It is only after we lose everything that we're free to do anything." I feel I will be closer to accomplishing this which is honestly very important to me. I see a lot of spiritual truth in that quote.

Not only this, but I will have the chance to travel with money not being the issue and experience things that most people never get to experience. As for the danger in it, yes, there is the danger of the position, but my whole life has been based on being careful. I haven't done too much in my life so far that has been very adventurous. I want to experience that. I want my story to be as interesting as what I can make it, and I feel like the Army can be a very good step in this direction in my life. To use another Fight Club quote, "I just don't want to die without a few scars."

So I know this has been a long post and I hope that some have read it in its entirety before messaging me or texting me with questions about this when I think I've addressed most of it in here. And the one thing I am asking for is prayer. I NEED prayer for wisdom in these next few weeks to be able to decide whether this is for me or not. I don't have much time to decide before the position isn't available anymore. Thank you for your support and I hope that you will keep me in your prayers.

act like it

So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.

Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It's because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.

Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Colossians 3:1-14

I've never really wanted The Message translation of the Bible until tonight with this scripture. This is amazing.

kick the habit

So today I had a conversation with someone about their faith and such. Well, I guess you could say I just listened really. I've found that its pretty easy for a Christian to talk a whole lot about faith, but it surprisingly takes a lot of control to just sit there and listen to someone talk about their faith and not interrupt them when you know that something they're saying isn't biblical or just plan isn't right.

Well, I think I accidentally brought up the topic because we started talking about how he was trying to quit smoking and how he felt like this time he would be able to do it for sure. I told him I can relate cause there was a time in my life when I just knew that I could completely be a Christian now. "It just finally clicked with me," I told him, "I haven't had much trouble with not being a Christian since." This got him talking a whole lot. About Christianity. About Faith. About what he believes in and why he feels what he believes is ok.

There were more than a dozen times I could have have interrupted telling him why he was wrong, why I was right, telling him how God really is, telling him why he should check out our church, whatever. But I didn't. I just listened. He obviously wouldn't have just started spitting all that out if he wasn't truly searching with his life right now.

I wasn't the one who "saved" him tonight. I wasn't the one to help him "find Jesus"

What I do hope and pray I did tonight though, is that I opened his heart a bit more. Open it up to other Christians like me. Ones who are in a closer relationship with him than I am. I hope I got him thinking about things again.

Jesus didn't need my help spreading the gospel for 1,987 years give or take, I trust Jesus knows what he's doing in that man's life well enough to know what he needs next...whatever soul he uses to connect with him next time. Jesus used me good enough for today.

Workshop

God takes care of us. When we're scared. When we're at a loss for hope. When we're running away from things. Responsibility. God is there and he slowly prepares us for the next stage of our life if we are trying to live for him. We don't even realize it because of our narrow vision. But God sees all things, in all times to come. We need to put our trust in him, and know that God will take care of us. We need to also be willing to speak our mind to God about things. We think God has us here at a certain time for a certain reason, well what is it God? Why are you making me feel this way? I think I'm scared God. God is an excellent teacher, but just like any teacher, we can't get questions answered if we don't ask them. And just like the old cliche, There is no stupid questions.

The image that comes to mind when I think of how God is with these issues is my Grandpa when I'm helping him in the workshop. My Grandpa was an excellent carpenter, and knew his way around the workshop easily. I would see him work dangerous tools, some of which he would let me use to help. He would teach me how to use them, but he would also steer me clear of any tool I wasn't ready to handle. It was dangerous and exciting in the workshop with my grandpa. This is how a life with God should be.

The scripture that inspired this was 1 Kings 19:1-7

I encourage you to read this.

Forward

In a time when seeing clearly is a normal occurrence
When Father speaks loudly in words of assurance
Its gone in a flash,
A nostalgic past
We're never prepared for the times of endurance

John 4:7-12

"7When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, "Will you give me a drink?" 8(His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

9The Samaritan woman said to him, "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?" (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.^[a])

10Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."

11"Sir," the woman said, "you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?""

Sounds like us sometimes doesn't it?

We don't even have a clue what we're talking about when we talk to God.

What I got from this scripture when I read it today:

"Shut up and listen."

Well, God, I thought I have been? What is it that you want to tell me? Teach me the proper way to listen.

History repeats itself

I don't think I fit in. I don't think I ever did. I feel the closer I get to God, the farther I get from people and vice versa. This is what happened to me when I was a child, and I feel like this is starting to happen all over again. Why does everything have to be so damn difficult. I hate all this.

Part 2

My cousin just came up here and asked me to pray with her and that really kind of threw me off. I guess just how I JUST wrote about how I am feeling with God and then her feeling like I'm still someone she can come to and feel comfortable praying with? It's a weird feeling trying to get close to God for prayer when you don't feel close to God to pray. I couldn't even imagine what a minister might feel like if put in that same situation? And I'm sure they're put in that situation? But I don't know...it kind of got me thinking just about how we can still come to God for comfort and come and get close to God for the sake of intercession, but still not feeling ok with where you guys are if that make sense? Who knows, maybe this will be something that gets my attention with my own relationship. All I know is that it seemed to be right on cue. Marcus talks about how he feels about God today...bad, cue cousin walking in and wanting him to pray with her.

Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.

How I feel about God today:

- Long Distant

- Nostalgic

- Impatient

- Clueless

- Trapped

- Unaware

- Agree to disagree

- Bored

- Bland

- Unanswered

These are not good things to have come to mind when I ask the question how do I feel about God...why do I feel this way? How can I start to change it? What do I need to start doing or not doing? Do I even belong here in Atlanta? Why do I still continue to ask myself that? How do I make that decision if I don't? Hmm...there is going to be some serious change here at the Truex household in the next few weeks...maybe that will answer some of the questions about what I'm supposed to do? Until then, I guess the only thing left for me to do is to continue waiting? MAN, I hate waiting.

To whom this may concern:

Dear Soccer Moms and other cookie cutter "American Family" Members to whom this may concern,

The sinners want their Savior back and are unable to see him underneath your overcasting shadow. Please move your H2 Hummer with the Jesus Fish on the back to the rear of the parking lot so that others can find some room. Thank you.

Reason--Purpose--Self-esteem

I can't think of anything to write that I feel like getting into tonight. If I try any longer, I'm going to be up all night, no joke. So I guess I will leave with a quote tonight by one of my fictional heroes, John Galt, from the book Atlas Shrugged.

"My morality, the morality of reason, is contained in a single axiom: existence exists--and in a single choice: to live. The rest proceeds from these. To live, man must hold three things as the supreme and ruling values of his life: Reason--Purpose--Self-esteem. Reason, as his only tool of knowledge--Purpose, as his choice of the happiness which that tool must proceed to achieve--Self-esteem, as his inviolate certainty that his mind is competent to think and his person is worthy of happiness, which means: is worthy of living."

I want to go deeper into this quote and explain why it is so good to me. So good that I chose to have these three values as my subtitle in my blog, but that will be for another night. I need to try and get to sleep. Good Night :)

Answers to the Blog "God the Conditional Lover"

I started to respond back to Sarah with a comment on my blog but then it kind of got lengthy and profound and I thought some others might like to read about some of these thoughts...

What I'm talking about in the book, "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller is on page 27, second paragraph. when he's talking about that tv preacher guy.

But basically what I was saying in that blog was that I can't believe that God, the loving one he claims to be, and the one I KNOW him to be, punishes people for their sin.

The second part of the blog being me explaining how I thought the sin punishing thing works itself out by saying that because God gave us free will, we choose the path of hell by choosing sin meaning we choose to go to a place where God's presence cannot be found. Now this will really throw you off, but I actually don't QUITE believe in a physical place, "Hell." I don't believe that God would make such a place, and since God created everything, that would mean that he would have had to create the place we come to call Hell. What I believe to be Hell is exactly what it is, being the place where sin is. And since that is the place where sin is and God hates sin and can't be around sin, the only thing that Hell is to me is a place where God is not present. Now I don't want you to dismiss the importance of not going there though by mistaking me for trying to play down the fact of that being ALL it is, because God not being present somewhere is a BIG deal.

Let me say that again...God not being present someplace is a BIG BIG deal.

THAT to me is what Hell is. Now through the years and generations, people have come to try and describe what that would be by saying it would be eternal punishment, lava and pointy horn red dudes running around stabbing you with pitch forks and all that junk we've attached to it, but I feel that what the essence of Hell is, is a place where God is not present.

And since I feel that we as people, with free will, choose to "go to hell" by not accepting Jesus and his teaching and his gift of sacrifice for our sins, our "punishment" so to speak is God ultimately giving those people what they ask of him...a place where he isn't present.

And since God loves those people JUST as much as he love you or I, as a final act of love, even though he knows they'll regret it, he gives it to them. And only God knows what it could POSSIBLY feel like to not feel his presence. :( it scares me just to think about it.

Anyways, I hope that answers some questions and maybe sparks some new ones ;)

Tyler Durden

I really want to watch Fight Club right now. Soon. Soon Mr. Durden.

Sacrificial Integrity

So as I was thinking about something that happened today that I wanted to expound on, something FINALLY came to mind...as I was listening to The Black Keys, Your Touch song...if you don't know the black keys you have to GET to know them! Best thing since Jimi Hendrix, but anyways, something that I thought about today was how sometimes I feel like I get myself into a Christian Bubble. Not the Christian bubble as you would think though. My kind of Christian bubble is one in which I only show love and let down my guard like I don't have anything to hide or protect or whatever.

I feel that sometimes, I think because of the way I grew up, that around outsiders, I have to keep up my guard and watch for things that those people might be doing to make me compromise my morals or my character and maybe put me into a bad situation. Where this is a good idea to have, I feel that once I've reached a certain familiarity with the person, and they know exactly how I stand on certain issues and they respect me for the man of character I try to be, I feel that then it should be my job to initiate TRUE relationship with them.

Not compromising my integrity, but putting it aside as a sacrific to relate to someone who, otherwise, would not be able to relate.

I don't know if this makes ANY sense whatsoever, or if I'm just COMPLETELY not explaining this very well, but that is just something I felt today. I feel that I need to start showing some of the same love I do to my Christian friends to my other friends.

God the conditional lover

So tonight at small group we were discussing the book that we are going through right now, Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller, and in chapter two he says something along the lines of because of what this person has done, God will punish him for it and he will have to suffer and beg God not to send him to Hell. Now this is paraphrased, but not much. I really struggle with this part and really struggle with seeing Donald as one who is against this exact same stuff because of what he JUST said that sounds so much like the very same people he has a problem against.

I can't believe that God would EVER do this to one of us as his children. The bible teaches us that God loves us so much that he sent his only son to DIE for us so that we could be connected to him again in relationship. God hates sin and Jesus died to pay the price for our sin so God could be with us again. :)

You've heard it said, God is Love. That is what I believe. God is Love and love is not making someone suffer for what they've done if its not willingly as with the case of Jesus. Yes its true that people go to hell and yes its true that those people will suffer, but that is not God's intentions. God does NOT want to send his children to Hell. Hell is something we choose for ourselves by not accepting Jesus. By not accepting Jesus' gift of Eternal life. Jesus came as an example for us so that with his death and his resurrection, Jesus continues to live through us when we decide to live for him. When we choose to consciously reject this, that is when God is forced by us, through his loving gift of free will, to give us up to our own sinful nature. That in which all sin has to be punished and since all sin must be punished and we aren't allowing Jesus to take the punishment for our sins, his gift that we don't willingly accept, we have to pay the price ourselves which is death. And since we don't have the power over death like Jesus does, we stay in death. And from what I hear death hurts? That is what I have come to believe about that whole Hell and punishment thing.

But I want to make it clear that GOD DOES NOT PUNISH YOU FOR WHATEVER YOU DO AGAINST HIM!!! God is love,

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

To say that God is the one who does the punishing and the sending to hell:

1) shows God is not patient enough to let the person repent
2) shows that God is not always kind because some people he damns to hell
3) shows that God boasts about how he is sinless and that we are not
4) shows that God is too proud to accept us for who we are
5) shows that God is self seeking because he is more concerned about who he lets into heaven then being the unconditonal loving God that he also says he is
6) shows that God DOES delight in evil, because murder is evil (it is one of the 10 commandments) and murdering someone for eternity, I think, could be considered worse than murdering someone as we know it from this life
7) shows that God can get easily angered depending on what sin you commit
8) shows that God does keep records of wrong if you do certain things
9) shows that God doesn't always protect because he's sending people to hell...the most unsafe place we could ever know or not know depending on how you want to look at it
10) blah blah...I think you get the point.

So this is how I feel about the God I call my own. My God is a loving God...one that is SO loving that he gives us the choice of heaven or hell even though he knows that the choice that we REALLY want is Heaven, but some people just don't want to accept that. How many times have you not done what your parents told you to do, when after you do it, you realize that what they told you to do was the right thing to do ultimately. How many of you HATE it when your parents force you to do things that they feel is right? God loves us so much that he showed us the right way to go AND he doesn't force us to do it. That is my God.