i miss.

I miss a lot of things. I miss nothing. I miss everything. I don't even know what I miss. I haven't even met you or it yet. I'm kind of mixed up today and I think I'm doing it to myself. I also think that it might be the devil trying to get the best of me. God's making things come together way too easily for this not be the correct path for me, but I can't help but to have days of hesitation. I think its my fear of commitment. I think a lot is my fear of commitment. I really miss my Atlanta friends today because today was our weekend and I missed it :/

Self Destruction. I'm working so hard to hit bottom, and sometimes I feel like I'm the only one trying to make progress. I guess this could be the devil as well. I won't be changing my decision. I'm way too stubborn I think. Sometimes that's a good thing?

I'm going to disappear for three months. I've decided today that my biggest fear isn't the drill sergeants or the pain that I'm going to have to go through in my body. It's not going to be the home sickness or being broken down to be built back up into a soldier. It won't be the lack of communication, electronics, cell phones, laptops, or ipods with my extensive musical librarys.

I'm almost positive that my biggest fear is going to be the fear of being forgotten. I've worked so hard to be a good friend to all of you. I pray for you all to return the favor. :(

I miss a lot of things.