poison

Philippians 4:8-9
"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."

Ever since I've gotten here I've let the latter of these things in the verse to poison my thoughts. Every day...since prolly I failed my first PT test, all I've been dwelling on has been the bad in this place. All types of things have been getting on my nerves that usually don't bother me too much to affect my mood. I got a letter from my friend Alisa today that had this verse...well...not this exact verse, but 6 and 7 instead...I just cheated and read further :X and it really made me start thinking about this.

I'm not going to deny...there are a lot of things bringing me down in this place...I think the biggest reason for that is because there is a lot of downtime. I HATE downtime...it makes me do bad things, and the worst part about the things bringing me down here is that with the group of people I'm with, there is absolutely no problem finding someone who agrees with you. You know that saying how sour people hang out in packs? (or something like that) well its true...I've been doing it :P and its come to my attention that I need to cease. This place is a necessary stop on my adventure and I need to treat it as such no matter what I'm doing (or not doing) and not get bent out of shape when others don't seem to take on the same attitude. Reason, Purpose, and Self-Esteem...that is what my favorite book, Atlas Shrugged, says are the highest values a man can hold. My attitude needs to stay at the level that I have set and not sink down to be at the same standard as others around me. God has already saved me from that lifestyle. And has taught me how to live at the higher standard. The standard that allows me to be poured out as a drink offering. The same standard Paul lived by making him able to live the way he did for Christ and still have Joy.

I've forgotten my quest to hit bottom.