Mixed Signals

I really wish I could just choose a routine and stick with it. I would love to have a way that I spend my days every day and that be my little thing. Wake up early every morning. Go on a run to my gym that I'm a member of, work out, run back to the house, jump in the shower, spend my quiet time, catch up on some news off my iPhone, eat breakfast, get to work, actually feel competent enough to feel satisfied with my performance, get home, do some reading from my current book of choice, eat dinner, go to my evening activity for the night whether that be small group, the living room, band rehearsal, a concert, or just hanging out with friends, and then go home, get online, do my blog, check my facebook and myspace and email, write in my journal, then go to bed and wake up and do it all over again. I wish that could be my routine...but its not. How perfect would that be? haha.

I don't even know where to begin on getting that kind of a routine started? I guess finding a career that isn't so unstable? On the other hand, I would LOVE to be more into the music scene, working concerts, going to see bands, signing bands to my label, managing bands, talking to labels and studios about recording contracts, tour dates, talking to venue owners about booking gigs staying up late, sleeping in late, waking up, getting all my stuff done, then doing it all over again the next night.

Then again, I would LOVE to work for a church. Pouring into peoples lives, helping them weed through some of their false images of God, helping them experience the HUGE, loving, responsible, just, merciful, all knowing, purposful, relational God that I don't even really know all that well (because God is infinity) then I wouldn't even have to worry about work and all that stuff cause going to church and having a ministry IS my work! that would be amazing too.

I wish I could make up my mind on what I want to do with my life and I wish I had a bit more clarity on which direction God wants me to take. I guess you kind of have to just pick one and go at it until you get a clear response on whether that one is correct or not? who knows?

"9 Be happy, young man, while you are young,
and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart
and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things
God will bring you to judgment.

10 So then, banish anxiety from your heart
and cast off the troubles of your body,
for youth and vigor are meaningless."

Ecclesiastes 11:9-10